• Sarit Gafan, Highest Good

Standing Up to...Myself



Enough is enough. I love myself and I deserve to feel great about myself. I am done with "You'll never this" and "You're not good enough to that". Enough now. It's been 23 years, yes 23, since I started my degree journey. I've been to hell and back, wrestling demons, depression, stalkers and debilitating beliefs that have kept me small for years. So here is a newsflash for my mind:

I am not small.

My heart is as big as the ocean, and at 42, I have evolved into a confident woman with a magnificent blend of intelligences, while preserving my true nature - love, love,love.

In a month's time, I will finally complete my degree journey.

#UNRESERVEDWOOHOOOOOOO!!!

Yet today, I noticed some old demons loitering around my intended study time. "You're not a deep thinker", "You've been blagging it". How amazing to bear conscious witness to this voice. How incredible to be able to say:

"Stop! I don't need you anymore. I trust myself to deal with whatever success comes my way from making a real effort."

I am so grateful for this developed sense of awareness that has come from years of overthinking. Haha, yes indeed, I found the gift that came from that! For years I exhausted myself analysing every little thing. Until I learnt mindfulness and meditation, and found that inner peace can come from less thinking rather than thinking through every possible scenario. I learnt that love trumps fear. Applying a thick layer of self-love when the voice of fear shows up has been transformative. It transformed my relationships. It enabled me to leave the 9 to 5. It enabled me to start my own business. And now it is enabling me to finally complete my degree.

As I learnt on a Mindful Self-Compassion course, self-love has two faces - Yin and Yang. I've learnt to Yin my way through the last two years. But now it's time for Yang to come out and play. I love myself more than I fear failure. I trust that I can deal with whatever comes.

How did I know that now was the time to get the Yang out? I heard my inner child cry. She cried because the negative thoughts were hurtful and untrue. So I stepped in and said:

No. No more. Thank you for sharing, but 72% begs to differ.

I am so grateful to have been able to see the signs. The procrastination. The restlessness. The tears. I am grateful for the dress rehearsal that was my first shot at university all those years ago. I am grateful for blow after mental blow that drove me into a tiny Phoenix waiting to rise again and fly. I am grateful for the determination, self-belief and sheer gumption to turn an experience that once obliterated my will to live, and turn it into a way to uplift others. I am grateful for the woman I have become.

Self-aware, resilient and *ss-kicking!

I am also grateful for all those who have supported and nurtured me along the way - you know who you are, and I thank you with all my heart!

How is your Yin/Yang balance?

With Gratitude

Sarit


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About Me

I'm a Divine soul in a human body, just like you. I've struggled with life's ups and downs since my teens and have felt like I didn't belong here. I spent much of my 20s and 30s searching for a single key to life, and found to my surprise and delight that, in fact, everyone has their own set of keys! While there may not be a single secret upon which to focus your energy, there is a colossal treasury of wisdom to suit all souls. I have taken the time to get to know myself and find out what's good for me, but the question is, do you know what's good for YOU?

 

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